Some times it just gets to ya...

Bear has allergies; both food and outdoor (along with asthma, yeah...good times). We've been dealing with this since he was a baby (he's 9 now). People ask me how I do it. I read labels, have meeting with everyone who comes in contact with him, medications, trips to the ER...it never ends. I don't have a choice. I just do it. Somewhere along the way I must have learned to compartmentalize the roller coaster of emotion that goes along with a child that has medical issues. When I go into crisis management mode I'm calm and collected. I don't overreact when Bear has an asthma attack or an allergic reaction. I administer his meds and take appropriate actions. I remember thinking that it would get easier as he gets older...but it doesn't. It actually gets harder. When he was little it was easy, I controlled everything that he was exposed to. Now he's in the third grade and I don't get to control who stands next to him in the line for the bus. Just recently a child who ate a chocolate candy with nuts grabbed him by the arm...now this child, including the entire third grade, yes, it's that serious that the entire grade was educated about food allergies; knows that Bear can't be touched by someone who has eaten nuts. So, what happened? Thankfully, nothing because the nurse was notified immediately and she gave him some Benedryl to head off the reaction. I had no control over that child and what she did. It's frustrating to say the least. And for the most part, I deal with it (emotionally speaking)...but sometimes it's just too much. Once in a while I'll sit down and think about everything that Bear has been through and I'm reduced to tears. I don't cry for me, but for him. The stress that goes with having a child with issues like Bears is a mother's burden. I know it could always be worse; and I'm truly thankful that it's not...but he will have these issues for the rest of his life. Knowing that my child doesn't know what it's like to not be this way is sometimes heart breaking. Sometimes just finding out that someone I know has a child that has been diagnosed with food allergies is frustrating to me because I know what they're going up against. It's an incredibly long road...