Dear Mr. Redneck in PetSmart,
We all know that pet supply stores welcome people to bring in their pets while shopping. But, why on Earth would you bring your absolutely vicious pit bull that weighs probably 95 pounds into a pet store if you can not control it even with the spiked choke collar you've put on it and then stand next to my children while we're looking for snacks for our dog? Why, with your insulated plaid flannel jacket and denim bib overalls, would you laugh when your monster on a chain attempts to use my 5 months old puppy for a chew toy? We get it, as a matter of fact, everyone in the store probably got it...your dog is bigger, badder and meaner than anything in a radius of 10 miles. So, Mr. Redneck, muster your strength and drag your monster, that is apparently too dumb to realize that it's choking on it's collar, back to your vehicle, which no doubt is a huge, rusted out muddin' truck with dual exhaust so everyone can hear you coming, and go home. Go home and relax Mr. Redneck. Take a shower, get cleaned up, maybe have a couple of your missing teeth replaced, tie your dog to the house (c'mon, if you tie it to the tree the beast will most likely uproot the damn thing), get back in your truck and come back to PetSmart. There is no need to terrorize small children and animals with your dog.
Thank you for your attention to this matter,
A concerned mother...